bed part two!

After more effort than I should have exerted my bed is now dressed in sheets!

First things first though.

I figure I'll be sleeping on this mattress for a while so I obviously want some form of protection. Growing up we just used an extra fitted flannel sheet underneath the regular fitted sheet, just something to add a layer between body and bed. We never had any deluxe, made for the job covers.

No luck finding such simplicity, and why would I want to when there are proper, expensive products to do the job. Uggh. How I love spending money when I'm not totally sure it's necessary. Oh well. I was at Sears and they had some fancy-pants covers 40% off, from $100!!! Too much, so I ended up grabbing a more generic version. It claims to be cotton and easily washed. Huzzah!

While looking at the mattress covers though an older lady appeared and I decided to ask her what she knew on the subject. Asking old ladies for advice in bedding departments was one of my themes for the day.

She knew that mattress covers shrink when washed, which she finds a bother. She also knew that the waterproof ones can feel sticky and gross. I'm not planning to pee my bed, so I knocked those off the list. I think she felt a bit uncomfortable, really trying to make it clear she was no expert, so I thanked her and toodled off.

I then had the great idea to mass text and see what feedback I could get that way. This was my second theme of the day; standing around in bedding departments for extended periods of time, trying to look busy while actually just texting or waiting for texts.

Thanks to all who responded, and to those who didn't, I'm sorry if I confused you. It's called outsourcing and it's for everything, even decisions.

It turns out no one has particularly strong passions on mattress coverings that aren't sheets. Some people (one person) seemed lost even with the basic notion that you'd want something else between you and your mattress.

That's kinda gross if you're keeping your mattress for any length of time. You're gross that person.

Oh well, a decision was made, and then it was off to Honest Ed's for the cheapest sheets in town!

I puzzled for a long while before selecting some 100% cotton sheets. The advice I got from both my mum (hi mum!) and an older woman who was also sheet shopping, was to go with the cotton-polyester mix. The main reason for this, APPEARANCES! You don't need to press the mix sheets after a wash.

Well, I guess I'll just have to start ironing my sheets more regularly. That is, if a wrinkly bed becomes a concern.

All the other advice I received, from the younger generation, was focused on the fact that cotton breathes. That appeals to me. Also, it turned out the colours/patterns I wanted were only available in 100% cotton. Form over function? Sure, why not.

The lady who I started chatting with at Honest Ed's was great. I think she was East Indian by descent and we went through all sorts of sheets trying to find nice ones and looking at the different materials used to make them. She didn't have her glasses so I was reading labels for her. We found a microfiber sheet option at one point. Neither of us was sure what that meant, but she gave the fabric a rub and declared it a good sheet right there.

In case you were wondering.

She was really interested in a pink set of queen sheets that were on sale, something nice to put on her bed for Easter, but she wasn't sure. They were 100% cotton and she don't want to have to press them after a wash. After talking to a sales person and determining the sale would last until Saturday she decided to come back later. Sleep on her decision, and possibly later on her decision, if you will.


But her advice was mostly about material, and I still needed to choose colours (I am good at making things last longer than they need to). I asked 4 young lasses, I would guess first year university, who were shopping for toga sheets, which pattern they liked of 3 I had pulled from the pile. They all chose the one I thought most lame, so that didn't help.

Because I live now, I took a picture using my cellphone
and emailed it to niXon rather than explain what the colours looked like in 140 characters or less. She chose the sheets I was already most fond of, saying "I think the sillier the better, really," before warning me that "sheets may be a deal breaker."

Oh well. That's a risk I'll just have to take.

And how could this bedding break any deal?
Oh man. That's great! 300 thread count of wonderful.

It reminds me of an 80s cocaine baron??? Don't ask me why this is or to support the statement in any way. Also, I'd need my bed to be round, and have polar bear and/or tiger skins for blankets.

Good thing I still need a duvet!


  1. haaha you're a bitch!
    I have a futon. Futons don't last forever anyway. Plus I am gross.

    I like the sheet choice. Too funny.

  2. hilarious! you told the internets that meredith is dutty.

    those sheets are hideous. but they kinda match your (awesome) wall colour.

  3. Wow. Whoever Alex is, s/he is right. Those are some goddamn ugly sheets.

    And yes, '80s cocaine baron seems pretty apt -- those sheets look like something Tony Montana would have adorning his bed, for sure.