Ruminations on the brunch industry, etc.

The Hoof Cafe is right around the corner and it took a while for me to get there, although it has now been open for a few months. Lawyer is the expert on this sort of thing, and by that I mean food of the refined variety, so I thought to invite him out to Friday brunch but he was being a silly at work. I suggested he work hard later and come for brunch with me at 11, but no dice. He wanted to sit inefficiently at work all day, perhaps getting something done between spurts of his true passion, internet conversation.

Fancy was kind enough to join me instead (after he had already provided me with a morning's camera lesson, what a guy!).

The Hoof (as I like to call it as of now) has a menu thrown up on a blackboard daily, depending upon what's on hand. Fancy chose the ever popular toast and jam option, which given the establishment featured goat butter (made with the milk of really smart goats), some fresh blueberry party jam and toast that I assume was harvested from the surfaces of asteroids as they ripped into the earth's atmosphere and burst into flame. Quality place.

Fancy has been on a bit of a blueberry kick of late, so the jam was very appropriate.

I on the other hand thought it time to be a big deal, so I threw down for the the rabbit and buckwheat pancakes. That would be buckwheat pancakes, topped with feta, tiny bacons, blueberries, syrup and of course rabbit.
(I stole this picture)

There was also some unidentified green sweet things on the plate. Delicious unidentified green sweet things.

The following is me reviewing food:
(something that I would be better at if I had asked the undoubtedly knowledgeable server some questions such as, "Hey, those green sweet things in the corner of the plate, what are those things?", and possessed a wider food vocabulary in terms of both preparation and presentation.)

My brunch was pretty good. And by that I mean, I don't eat a lot of buckwheat pancakes, let alone pancakes of any kind supported by the aforementioned accoutrements, so it was delicious! Lot's of tiny flavours to swirl around my plate, mixing and matching, picking and choosing different combinations. This is the best way to eat because each bite becomes something of a distinct and unique puzzle. There are no correct solutions to said puzzles, just a whack of experimentation.

The one problem with the dish (and really, it's not a problem considering where I was eating) was the amount of food. As Lawyer said - when I talked to him, still online after I got back from brunch (see, he could have come with me if he'd wanted to) - it's not the place you go looking for giant portions. Although he wasn't explicit, I'm pretty sure Lawyer was really offended that I had besmirched the Black Hoof's good name with such a boorish suggestion, that portion sizes were too small. He didn't say it, but definitely vibed that I was dirt and deserved to have my eye spat into. Or maybe he just meant it literally when he wrote "There's a Grand Slam at Denny's for that," (contemptuously).

Whatever the case, the pancakes were about yay wide (yay = 5 inches) and there were three of them. I was wondering why they couldn't make the pancakes larger, because I figured the cost of extra buckwheat couldn't be that much more (and I guess I was sorta hungry). But then I realized, it isn't about the pancakes at all. You grow the pancakes and the proportions and aesthetics of the plate are all off. You'd need more rabbit, cheese, etc. and therein lies the cost of the dish. Bacons that small and thinly sliced don't come cheap!

Next time I go I will either buy another dish (at $14 for what I ate, not likely until I'm awesome rich) or just make sure I eat beforehand. A banana for instance.
(one of these)

I've always been more of a delicious and filling meal sort of fellow. Maybe someday I'll stop worrying about filling and move delicious toward scrumptious on the gradient of meal descriptors, but I have a strange feeling that all this may be tied to income somehow.

And to extend the post a bit more and add some context for both my hunger and desire to eat out I will take it back to before the beginning; I was up at 9 after sleeping at 3. I was in bed before then, exhausted, but couldn't sleep due to life buzzing. You know that stuff? In my case it was a result of Bad Dog Theatre, or more specifically Mouthmoney, and more importantly The Jam!

The Jam! is a chance to get up on stage and do improv things in front of real live people who are not in your class. And it was GREAT! I was nervy beforehand, but while on stage I heard a few laughs in response to things I did and really what more can you hope for? Big Ben and DuffMart (the latter nickname is already on the docket for a change) from my class were there and they were fantastic as well.

We chatted about our victories and failures in a lonely Tim Horton's on the Danforth late into the night, hence home late and remaining in an amped state. (I'd tell you more about my day because I also went to preloved's sample sale and bought an atlas, but that smells like a wholly different post.)

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